I had a peculiar thought right in the middle of my make-up application one morning. Having just read the story of Moses and how his face shined after an experience with God, I found myself wondering— would anyone be able to see my face shine with a God-glow if I was covering it with make-up?
I continued to eye-line and mascara- wand my way through my routine, but later that night as I removed it, I felt a nudge that I knew was God…to just not wear make-up the next day. So, of course, I got up the next morning, had the thought again, and put my make-up on anyway. I felt all day like I was one step left of God’s will, and it felt muddy. I committed that night, into the bubbles of my face wash, “God, tomorrow, I’ll try it your way.”
Do you know the dream where you realize that you’ve gone to school with no clothes on? It didn’t feel like a triumphal moment walking into the office the next day, I felt naked. Then other emotions (and fears) began to surface. I feared that if I didn’t do the work to be noticed, no one would. Like I would be forgotten. I didn’t even know that I believed or feared being unnoticed, but God did. I wanted to hide in my cube, but God didn’t strip me naked and leave me to hide or be forgotten. Three times that day, someone stopped me to say that I looked beautiful. Three times! And every time it went right to my soul. I couldn’t think, “Oh I should wear this eye shadow again.” I had to believe that God just made me beautiful.
I realize now the continuing gift this has been to my family. I have two daughters who will never grow up with the dissonance of hearing they are beautiful while simultaneously seeing their mom not believe it herself. And I suspect that the Kingdom is filled with fearless beauty.